Chuck Norris jokes

Just Cause 2 Mods Forums Fun and Jokes Chuck Norris jokes

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    • #80610
      Tony
      Member

      heres a thread for your favourite chuck norris jokes

      myne is:
      chuck norris is so scary that he dosnt pray to god
      God Prays to him!

    • #87816
      Daniel
      Member

      Person 1:

      In a fight between Jesus and Chuck Norris, who would win?

      Person 2:

      Well, I’m a christian, so I have to go with Chuck Norris.

    • #87837
      phil
      Member

      chuck norris is lame:silly:
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqzQ2qrtBeg

    • #87817
      Tony
      Member

      chuck norrises car is so good that the car dosnt move THE road does

    • #87818
      Daniel
      Member

      It is believed that Chuck Norris’ tears have the ability to heal cancer, to bad he never crys, NEVER.

    • #87819
      Tony
      Member

      it is said hat chuck norrises boots can launch a man 3 metres into the air and chuck norrises boots NEVER GET DIRTY the mud would dare go near them!

    • #87820
      Daniel
      Member

      Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.

    • #87821
      Adam
      Member

      Its said that Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad.

    • #87822
      Daniel
      Member

      When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn’t push himself up, he pushes the earth down.

    • #87823
      Daniel
      Member

      When you have 5 dollar, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollar, Chuck Norris has more money than you do.

    • #87824
      Rewwp
      Member

      If u try to snipe chuck norris, watch ur back cause hes got a sniper too,u know.

    • #87825
      stuiterveer
      Participant

      .

    • #90909
      Big Boss
      Participant

      Two criminals are running away from Chuck Norris. They come at the crossroads one goes left, one right. Then comes Chuck and goes after them.

    • #90911
      Big Boss
      Participant

      Chuck Norris was born by artificial insemination because nobody fucks Chuck Norris’s mother

    • #90912
      Big Boss
      Participant

      God wanted to make the world in 20 days, Chuck Norris gave him 7.

    • #90913
      Big Boss
      Participant

      Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice.

    • #90914
      Big Boss
      Participant

      Chuck Norris threw his house through the window.

    • #90915
      sheep
      Member

      when chuck goes for a headshot with a 50.cal, the head would blow up first before the bullet could reach it.

    • #87826
      Andre
      Member

      LOL!!! Check what I found!:lol: 😆 😆 😆 Untitled_1-8a7bb54426be19df6628e6b229cda543.jpg

    • #87827

      Chuck Norris ran around the world so fast that he punched himself at the back of his head.

    • #87828
      jamie
      Participant

      The only person to outsmart chuck norris was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved. chuck_norris_mast.jpg

    • #87829
      jamie
      Participant

      limited edition sadly :( Chuck_Norris_Pokemon_Card_by_zaku40.jpg

    • #91821
      jamie
      Participant

      pwnd rofl lol etc… kanye_west_chuck_norris.jpg

    • #87830

      what was created first,
      the chicken or the egg??

      chuck norris

    • #90996

      if you wanna hear chick norris jokes, i got a hole lot of them, XD

      they tried to clone chuck norris once, but the new one spinkicked himself in the face and died.

      if you play scrabble and you spell chuck norris, you win…always and everywhere.

      chuck norris can burn ants with a magnifying glass, at night…

      when the chainsaw-serialkiller is going to sleep, he firtst checks under the bed to make sure chuck norris isent there.

      there isn’t global warming, chuck norris had cold so he turned up the sun.

      chuck norris his first job was postman,… nobody survived it.

      one time chuck norris had spinnkicked someone so hard, that his foot travelled with lightspeed back to the past and killed amelia earthart when she was flyig above the pacific

      the most people got 23 chromosomes, chuck norris got 72, and they all poisoned,…

      if you ask chuck norris what time it is, he only answers “only 2 seconds left”, and if you ask ” 2 second of what??” then he spinkicks you right in the face…

      chuck norris is te only person in the world who can beat a brick wall with tennis.

      chuck norris does’nt churn butter, he just spinkicks the cow, and the butter comes straight out if it.

      the handicap-parkingspots have actually a secret meaning, they mean:” this is chuck norris his vip-parkingspot, and if you park here you will be permamently a handicap.”

    • #91887
      kaii
      Member

      When Chuck Norris jumps in a lake, he doesn’t get wet, the lake gets Chuck Norris.

      Lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same place because Chuck Norris is looking for it.

      Chuck Norris was the first to split the atom. With his fists.

      Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

      Chuck Norris CAN judge a book by its cover.

      One time Superman and Batman had a duel. Chuck Norris won.

    • #87831
      Teri
      Member

      Chuck Norris doesn’t win, he just allows you to lose.

      Chuck Norris was once bitten by a rattlesnake. After 5 days of unbearable pain, the rattlesnake died.

      Chuck Norris can divide by 0.

      Go to http://www.google.com/ and search for “Find Chuck Norris” and click I’m felling lucky.

    • #92460
      Diego
      Member

      In America, Chuck Norris kills you. In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still kills you!

    • #92463
      Annie
      Member

      In soviet russia, chuck norris still kicks ass

      When the boogeyman goes to sleep he checks his closet for chuck norris

    • #87835
      John514
      Member

      Chuck Norris does not wear sunglasses, the sun wears Chuckglasss. :silly:

    • #87836
      Sam
      Member

      if you remove chuck norrises beard it will reveal a fist instead of a chin

    • #99453
      demon4511
      Participant

      why doesn’t Chuck Norris where a condom?

      Because there is no protection from Chuck Norris.

      How did Chuck Norris make his d**k 10 feet long?

      he folded it in half.

    • #87834
      Disco619
      Participant

      Chuck Norris once wrestled a 50 foot snake, then he realized he was masturbating!

    • #87833
      CapoCapo
      Participant

      Chuck Norris’s feets stink
      Its kicking worst then Bruce Lee

    • #99913
      Capo wrote:
      Chuck Norris’s feets stink
      Its kicking worst then Bruce Lee

      Keeping it real right here.

    • #87832
      Disco619
      Participant

      Dont talk about Bruce Lee, he is not a joke! He is the real deal!

    • #91511
      bgpitts
      Member

      In a fight between Jesus and Chuck Norris, who would win?

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