Chuck Norris jokes

Just Cause 2 Mods Forums Fun and Jokes Chuck Norris jokes

This topic contains 36 replies, has 23 voices, and was last updated by  CoconutFred 5 years, 9 months ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #80610

    Tony
    Member

    heres a thread for your favourite chuck norris jokes

    myne is:
    chuck norris is so scary that he dosnt pray to god
    God Prays to him!

  • #87816

    Daniel
    Member

    Person 1:

    In a fight between Jesus and Chuck Norris, who would win?

    Person 2:

    Well, I’m a christian, so I have to go with Chuck Norris.

  • #87837

    phil
    Member

    chuck norris is lame:silly:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqzQ2qrtBeg

  • #87817

    Tony
    Member

    chuck norrises car is so good that the car dosnt move THE road does

  • #87818

    Daniel
    Member

    It is believed that Chuck Norris’ tears have the ability to heal cancer, to bad he never crys, NEVER.

  • #87819

    Tony
    Member

    it is said hat chuck norrises boots can launch a man 3 metres into the air and chuck norrises boots NEVER GET DIRTY the mud would dare go near them!

  • #87820

    Daniel
    Member

    Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.

  • #87821

    Adam
    Member

    Its said that Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad.

  • #87822

    Daniel
    Member

    When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn’t push himself up, he pushes the earth down.

  • #87823

    Daniel
    Member

    When you have 5 dollar, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollar, Chuck Norris has more money than you do.

  • #87824

    Rewwp
    Member

    If u try to snipe chuck norris, watch ur back cause hes got a sniper too,u know.

  • #87825

    Rob Bos
    Member

    chuck norris jokes are in fact no jokes at all, they are all facts and kept modest

  • #90909

    Big Boss
    Participant

    Two criminals are running away from Chuck Norris. They come at the crossroads one goes left, one right. Then comes Chuck and goes after them.

  • #90911

    Big Boss
    Participant

    Chuck Norris was born by artificial insemination because nobody fucks Chuck Norris’s mother

  • #90912

    Big Boss
    Participant

    God wanted to make the world in 20 days, Chuck Norris gave him 7.

  • #90913

    Big Boss
    Participant

    Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice.

  • #90914

    Big Boss
    Participant

    Chuck Norris threw his house through the window.

  • #90915

    sheep
    Member

    when chuck goes for a headshot with a 50.cal, the head would blow up first before the bullet could reach it.

  • #87826

    Andre
    Member

    LOL!!! Check what I found!:lol: 😆 😆 😆 Untitled_1-8a7bb54426be19df6628e6b229cda543.jpg

  • #87827

    Chuck Norris ran around the world so fast that he punched himself at the back of his head.

  • #87828

    jamie
    Member

    The only person to outsmart chuck norris was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved. chuck_norris_mast.jpg

  • #87829

    jamie
    Member

    limited edition sadly :( Chuck_Norris_Pokemon_Card_by_zaku40.jpg

  • #91821

    jamie
    Member

    pwnd rofl lol etc… kanye_west_chuck_norris.jpg

  • #87830

    what was created first,
    the chicken or the egg??

    chuck norris

  • #90996

    if you wanna hear chick norris jokes, i got a hole lot of them, XD

    they tried to clone chuck norris once, but the new one spinkicked himself in the face and died.

    if you play scrabble and you spell chuck norris, you win…always and everywhere.

    chuck norris can burn ants with a magnifying glass, at night…

    when the chainsaw-serialkiller is going to sleep, he firtst checks under the bed to make sure chuck norris isent there.

    there isn’t global warming, chuck norris had cold so he turned up the sun.

    chuck norris his first job was postman,… nobody survived it.

    one time chuck norris had spinnkicked someone so hard, that his foot travelled with lightspeed back to the past and killed amelia earthart when she was flyig above the pacific

    the most people got 23 chromosomes, chuck norris got 72, and they all poisoned,…

    if you ask chuck norris what time it is, he only answers “only 2 seconds left”, and if you ask ” 2 second of what??” then he spinkicks you right in the face…

    chuck norris is te only person in the world who can beat a brick wall with tennis.

    chuck norris does’nt churn butter, he just spinkicks the cow, and the butter comes straight out if it.

    the handicap-parkingspots have actually a secret meaning, they mean:” this is chuck norris his vip-parkingspot, and if you park here you will be permamently a handicap.”

  • #91887

    kaii
    Member

    When Chuck Norris jumps in a lake, he doesn’t get wet, the lake gets Chuck Norris.

    Lightning doesn’t strike twice in the same place because Chuck Norris is looking for it.

    Chuck Norris was the first to split the atom. With his fists.

    Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

    Chuck Norris CAN judge a book by its cover.

    One time Superman and Batman had a duel. Chuck Norris won.

  • #87831

    Teri
    Member

    Chuck Norris doesn’t win, he just allows you to lose.

    Chuck Norris was once bitten by a rattlesnake. After 5 days of unbearable pain, the rattlesnake died.

    Chuck Norris can divide by 0.

    Go to http://www.google.com/ and search for “Find Chuck Norris” and click I’m felling lucky.

  • #92460

    Diego
    Member

    In America, Chuck Norris kills you. In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still kills you!

  • #92463

    Annie
    Member

    In soviet russia, chuck norris still kicks ass

    When the boogeyman goes to sleep he checks his closet for chuck norris

  • #87835

    John514
    Member

    Chuck Norris does not wear sunglasses, the sun wears Chuckglasss. :silly:

  • #87836

    Sam
    Member

    if you remove chuck norrises beard it will reveal a fist instead of a chin

  • #99453

    demon4511
    Participant

    why doesn’t Chuck Norris where a condom?

    Because there is no protection from Chuck Norris.

    How did Chuck Norris make his d**k 10 feet long?

    he folded it in half.

  • #87834

    Disco619
    Participant

    Chuck Norris once wrestled a 50 foot snake, then he realized he was masturbating!

  • #87833
    Capo
    Capo
    Participant

    Chuck Norris’s feets stink
    Its kicking worst then Bruce Lee

  • #99913

    CoconutFred
    Member
    Capo wrote:
    Chuck Norris’s feets stink
    Its kicking worst then Bruce Lee

    Keeping it real right here.

  • #87832

    Disco619
    Participant

    Dont talk about Bruce Lee, he is not a joke! He is the real deal!

  • #91511

    bgpitts
    Member

    In a fight between Jesus and Chuck Norris, who would win?

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